CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College

george

Administrator
Staff member
Dec 19, 2018
1,345
870
113
64
Commack NY
www.nyangler.com
October 28th, 2019

U.S.—Everyone praised the classified "Hero Dog" for taking down ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Everyone, that is, except CNN, who quickly searched through the dog's internet history and college yearbooks. Sure enough, CNN found a picture of the Hero Dog partying at obedience school. In the picture, the dog is seen sniffing a butt without consent.
"Oh yeah, good old [redacted]? He was nuts!" said one German Shepherd who attended Old Yaler Obedience School with the hero dog, according to a CNN report. "He was always sniffing any butt he could find. Cats, dogs, humans, you name it. He didn't have a preference. He identified as pansniffual."

Troubling reports from classmates indicate that the dog sniffed all these butts without consent. The dog wrote cryptic things in his college yearbook, apparently referring to different butt-sniffing maneuvers such as the Surprise Sniffarooski and the Canine's Triangle.

The dog has issued a statement: "I like butts. I've always liked butts. I still like butts, but I never sniff butts to the point of excess. Who's a good boy? I am."
Democrats immediately called for the dog to be court-martialed and for the death of Baghdadi to be overturned.
 

jpd

Moderator
Staff member
Dec 24, 2018
936
1,019
93
LOL, saw that on the Babylon Bee this morning - classic!
 

Staff online

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
1,908
Messages
58,791
Members
635
Latest member
Togman1