Too funny. The local news has been abuzz regarding a travel review of Maine recently published in the NY Post. I just read the piece and was laughing out loud. This Cindy Adams must be a real piece of Park Avenue work, tuxedo clad waiter/waitresses, BMW, and all. Speaking of work, at 92, her face must have been signed by every high-priced Manhattan plastic surgeon...
Yes, folks who think along her lines won't enjoy Maine at all, so don't visit if you find yourself agreeing with her opinions on travel...
I went to Maine. Why? I’m a world traveler. Done Cambodia, Indonesia, most of South America, Fiji, Kabul, Kathmandu, Beirut, Siberia, India, Outback, Galapagos, Iran, Iraq, Laos, the whole Caribbean, all Europe, Fiji, Samoa, New Guinea, China, Japan, Taipei, Alaska, Hawaii, Himalayas, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Guam, etc — but Maine? Not.
I’ve also not seen Oklahoma — but who cares?
Longtime friends whose ancestors founded the state of Maine in the 1800s and are in its museums and histories invited me.
It’s north. Eight hours as the crow and a BMW flies. Borders Canada, so it’s cool. Clean. Airy. Fresh. Ocean. Shoreline. Beaches. Open sky. Green. Trees. Lighthouses. Boats. Harbors. Coastlines. No litter. No trash. It’s polite. Friendly. Inexpensive. Seafood. Lobsters the size of Radio City. Locals whose behinds overlap the state of Texas all stuffed into shorts. Realtors could establish an entire campsite on the average ass.
In Kennebunkport, Bar Harbor, Portland, Ogunquit, Freeport, Eastport the concept of dressing is only for salad. Forget shopping. Skirts, necklaces, socks, ties, footwear, knife-pressed longpants went out with the first settlers. L.L. Bean jeans, drawers, plaid shirts, crappy sweaters, sweats, sneakers and backpacks are considered black tie.
New England’s largest state, it’s sparsely populated and 90% forest but looked like no trees went to build elegant stores. Also forget consignment shops because what they’re wearing is already consignment stuff.
Want shore, water, sand? It’s got Old Orchard Beach, Ferry Beach, Goose Rocks Beach, Wells Beach, Kennebunk Beach, Cape Elizabeth, Pine Point, Biddeford Pool, Southport, Boothbay Harbor, New Harbor, Christmas Cove, Bailey Island, Orrs Island, York’s Long Sands. Venice in a hurricane has less water.
Portland’s 19th century Observatory which signals ships is millions of steps. This I didn’t do. When they add an escalator I’ll do it. There’s also hiking the clean Long Sands. Schlep along a Frisbee, surfboard, hot dog and real dog.
“Downcoast” locally means “far north.” “Upcoast” is northeast. “The city” equals Portland. Traffic’s zero. Congestion is two vehicles in opposite directions trying to avoid a moose. Stephen King, Anna Kendrick and George Bush are from here but they’re not here. Mainers, maybe ecstatic just to see anyone, are friendly. Anything you want, except for trees, you have to get in your car to get.
I climbed into mine to get back to civilization and New York.
And in rebuttal, I'll put in a well-written piece from a fellow Lawnguyland emigree that was printed in today's Portland news paper.
pressherald.com/2022/08/28/maine-voices-a-new-yorker-responds-to-that-new-york-post-column/
By Michelle Conners August 28, 2022
I went to Maine. Why? My husband transferred here for his job in 2013. We moved from Long Island, New York. We have lived here since.
It is indeed “north,” about a five-hour drive from Long Island to York County, Maine, when you plan your trip properly and don’t leave during the life-draining rush hour.
I love Maine’s dress code. It is casual and relaxed. People can go to work and feel comfortable without spending a month’s pay on an entire outfit just to impress and climb up the ladder to the next job that will require even more expensive clothing.
I remember my grandfather’s closet. I was always confused why everything looked the same and why my grandma spent so much time ironing and going to the dry cleaners. He worked hard, six days a week. He took the train and the subway into work for years at Cartier on Fifth Avenue. He’d leave before we awoke and he’d be home at 8 p.m., making a modest income. He spent his Sundays off at the beach.
For grad school, I took the train and bus to Queens College. There was always congestion, always anger, always people never quite satisfied with life.
In school, I was a number. I’m back in school again at the University of Southern Maine and people actually know my name. It’s also a casual drive from home, and when I get to school, there is actually parking.
Beer? Yeah, I like beer. I think I consumed the most amount of beer around and on the Great South Bay. (That’s in New York.) I still like beer. I actually have a kegerator at home. My kegerator, vacations, a reliable vehicle, investing in a retirement account, these are all things I likely wouldn’t have been able to afford in New York if I were buying fancy clothes.
I don’t miss the popularity of my hometown, Massapequa Park. You may know the name. Their baseball team was recently in the Little League World Series. There is a laundry list of famous people from Massapequa that is so long it requires its own Wikipedia page. Or you may have heard it mentioned in a variety of movies or TV shows. There’s even a Friends episode, “The One in Massapequa.”
You’re just a number in Massapequa, a number that needs nice clothes to stand out. But I’m not here to bash New York, my hometown, or Mrs. Adams of the New York Post. I do miss the memories, I miss the food, I miss the diversity, I miss family and friends, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
However, I am here to defend Maine. In one day, I can be on the ocean in the morning, hike in the woods in the afternoon, have dinner in Portland and be back home for the evening. I am glad to drive to work without stress in a car that I know won’t break down. I am thrilled I could afford a house and property. I love that my kids were born here, and I am proud to call Maine home.
Yes, folks who think along her lines won't enjoy Maine at all, so don't visit if you find yourself agreeing with her opinions on travel...
Welcome to Vacationland By Cindy Adams
Wondering where this column was last week? Sorry. I forgot to say I’m taking two days off. My computer’s exhausted.I went to Maine. Why? I’m a world traveler. Done Cambodia, Indonesia, most of South America, Fiji, Kabul, Kathmandu, Beirut, Siberia, India, Outback, Galapagos, Iran, Iraq, Laos, the whole Caribbean, all Europe, Fiji, Samoa, New Guinea, China, Japan, Taipei, Alaska, Hawaii, Himalayas, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Guam, etc — but Maine? Not.
I’ve also not seen Oklahoma — but who cares?
Longtime friends whose ancestors founded the state of Maine in the 1800s and are in its museums and histories invited me.
It’s north. Eight hours as the crow and a BMW flies. Borders Canada, so it’s cool. Clean. Airy. Fresh. Ocean. Shoreline. Beaches. Open sky. Green. Trees. Lighthouses. Boats. Harbors. Coastlines. No litter. No trash. It’s polite. Friendly. Inexpensive. Seafood. Lobsters the size of Radio City. Locals whose behinds overlap the state of Texas all stuffed into shorts. Realtors could establish an entire campsite on the average ass.
In Kennebunkport, Bar Harbor, Portland, Ogunquit, Freeport, Eastport the concept of dressing is only for salad. Forget shopping. Skirts, necklaces, socks, ties, footwear, knife-pressed longpants went out with the first settlers. L.L. Bean jeans, drawers, plaid shirts, crappy sweaters, sweats, sneakers and backpacks are considered black tie.
New England’s largest state, it’s sparsely populated and 90% forest but looked like no trees went to build elegant stores. Also forget consignment shops because what they’re wearing is already consignment stuff.
Water, water everywhere
Fishing? Great. Fashion? Forget it. There’s not enough fabric on NYC’s Seventh Avenue to cover any local behind. Mainers consider flannel formal.Want shore, water, sand? It’s got Old Orchard Beach, Ferry Beach, Goose Rocks Beach, Wells Beach, Kennebunk Beach, Cape Elizabeth, Pine Point, Biddeford Pool, Southport, Boothbay Harbor, New Harbor, Christmas Cove, Bailey Island, Orrs Island, York’s Long Sands. Venice in a hurricane has less water.
Beers and trees
There’s yachts, boat restaurants, great food. The Garage was once an actual garage. Now inside where formerly they repaired trucks and motors they serve ribs with cornbread, coleslaw, tubs of beer. Everybody does beer. They probably shower with it. Prefer French furniture with gilt arms and legs, white linen tablecloths, waiters in tuxes — forget it.Portland’s 19th century Observatory which signals ships is millions of steps. This I didn’t do. When they add an escalator I’ll do it. There’s also hiking the clean Long Sands. Schlep along a Frisbee, surfboard, hot dog and real dog.
“Downcoast” locally means “far north.” “Upcoast” is northeast. “The city” equals Portland. Traffic’s zero. Congestion is two vehicles in opposite directions trying to avoid a moose. Stephen King, Anna Kendrick and George Bush are from here but they’re not here. Mainers, maybe ecstatic just to see anyone, are friendly. Anything you want, except for trees, you have to get in your car to get.
I climbed into mine to get back to civilization and New York.
And in rebuttal, I'll put in a well-written piece from a fellow Lawnguyland emigree that was printed in today's Portland news paper.
Maine Voices: A New Yorker responds to *that* New York Post column

By Michelle Conners August 28, 2022
I went to Maine. Why? My husband transferred here for his job in 2013. We moved from Long Island, New York. We have lived here since.
It is indeed “north,” about a five-hour drive from Long Island to York County, Maine, when you plan your trip properly and don’t leave during the life-draining rush hour.
I love Maine’s dress code. It is casual and relaxed. People can go to work and feel comfortable without spending a month’s pay on an entire outfit just to impress and climb up the ladder to the next job that will require even more expensive clothing.
I remember my grandfather’s closet. I was always confused why everything looked the same and why my grandma spent so much time ironing and going to the dry cleaners. He worked hard, six days a week. He took the train and the subway into work for years at Cartier on Fifth Avenue. He’d leave before we awoke and he’d be home at 8 p.m., making a modest income. He spent his Sundays off at the beach.
For grad school, I took the train and bus to Queens College. There was always congestion, always anger, always people never quite satisfied with life.
In school, I was a number. I’m back in school again at the University of Southern Maine and people actually know my name. It’s also a casual drive from home, and when I get to school, there is actually parking.
Beer? Yeah, I like beer. I think I consumed the most amount of beer around and on the Great South Bay. (That’s in New York.) I still like beer. I actually have a kegerator at home. My kegerator, vacations, a reliable vehicle, investing in a retirement account, these are all things I likely wouldn’t have been able to afford in New York if I were buying fancy clothes.
I don’t miss the popularity of my hometown, Massapequa Park. You may know the name. Their baseball team was recently in the Little League World Series. There is a laundry list of famous people from Massapequa that is so long it requires its own Wikipedia page. Or you may have heard it mentioned in a variety of movies or TV shows. There’s even a Friends episode, “The One in Massapequa.”
You’re just a number in Massapequa, a number that needs nice clothes to stand out. But I’m not here to bash New York, my hometown, or Mrs. Adams of the New York Post. I do miss the memories, I miss the food, I miss the diversity, I miss family and friends, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
However, I am here to defend Maine. In one day, I can be on the ocean in the morning, hike in the woods in the afternoon, have dinner in Portland and be back home for the evening. I am glad to drive to work without stress in a car that I know won’t break down. I am thrilled I could afford a house and property. I love that my kids were born here, and I am proud to call Maine home.